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From Winter to Spring- Literally and Metaphorically

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If you're like me, and don't like Winter then you will know what I mean by that "Spring feeling". That little bit of joy and peace that bubbles up knowing that warmer days and lighter days are coming. This year has felt like one long Winter. For about 6-7 months it felt like I was under a thick grey cloud of grief. Then slowly something shifted and a little bit of joy, warmth and color crept back into my world. After a season of lament, of wrestling with God crying almost daily, crawling through the day especiallly that first month back at work. When I couldn't hide away at home, but instead had to put aside all that I was feeling to be present with the students that I teach. When your drowning in grief, it can feel like it will never get easier. People looking in may not know the inner struggle and the depth of heartache so it feels lonely too.  I spent the last school holidays listening to podcasts by "Hope Mommies" a Christian group of mums who have a...
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Wrestling with God

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    We often hear the argument  “how can I believe in a God that allows so much suffering in this world.” Then they may go on to list all the heinous crimes that sinful human nature commits. I have heard and even shared many arguments that attempt to answer this valid question, such as; A loving God gives freewill. The devil is the cause of all suffering. This was not God's original plan or intent, he gave his own son to pay for all these heinous crimes, he will redeem this world and there will be a day with no more suffering. Or simply that suffering is a consequence of sin. Losing Evangeline made all these questions about why God allows suffering become our reality and the shallow answers I'd happily parrot off to others no longer sufficed.  When I was 18, I fully committed my life to God and since then I had not really waivered in my faith. I am entirely convinced that there is a God and I have always had a lot of faith that He hears my prayers. I mad...
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Meeting Evangeline- told through the eyes of a friend.

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  Meeting Evangeline     The nurse directed me to a seat where I was to wait in the silence of the corridor. A few moments later she returned, smiled & invited me to go in. Momentarily, I felt overcome with fear & my heart beat increased. Upon entry into the dimly lit room, I recognized that this was ‘ holy ’ ground. I was going to visit a newly born princess, Evangeline, who Jesus was waiting to take to heaven. Chosen in t h is window of time, for this opportunity , came with realization of the privilege I had. Her story , told in photos on the wall above the bed , spoke of her being prayed for, deeply desired, waited for, treasured ….loved !     Ryan, her father , turned his eyes towards me & I saw such love mixed with the deepest gentleness & compassion. He hugged me & I knew a father’s tender care. He signaled for me to come closer to the bed, where his wife Rachel lay. I approached, carefully hugged her & as our eyes met t...
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